Dear Mr. Owl,

Hello! And welcome to my window sil. My bathroom window sil, to be precise. You have been there for over two weeks now and I have seen you and heard your voice. I have tried communicating with you. I have failed. Now I am compelled to write this letter to you. Yes, I hope, as I always do, that you would actually read this sometime.

So. Yes. It was nice initially having you around. Since you are the white owl (the proverbial “lokhhi pyancha”) my mother and mother-in-law were overjoyed and asked me repeatedly not to disturb you in any way. Not that I would have otherwise also. Even if you were the brown owl (what we call “hutum pyancha”). However, as much as I appreciate all the good luck you bring in to my home, I must, really must, tell you that I, erm, cannot stand the way your abode smells. And it is not only your abode. It is my bathroom. Actually, IT IS MY BATHROOM first. And so effectively, I cannot stand the way MY bathroom smells now. And I have tried everything before writing this letter. The incense sticks, candles, room freshner. Nothing has worked. And I am afraid it is getting a tad too much to bear with now.

But I can’t shoo you away. And you will not leave. And it goes without saying that I will NOT leave either. I have tried poking my head in and give you some notice. But you have been sleeping. All the time. And I never find you on the sil at night. And it is impossible to open that window anyway because of the smell, erm, the stink. I don’t know what you have out there but THAT, and whatever “THAT” might be, needs to go. Now.

So there! That’s what this letter is about. I am hereby assertively marking my territory and demanding that said territory be smell, err, stink free. And the burden lies on you, Mr. Owl! Gosh! Terrible manners you have, really! No consideration for your neighbors. None. Zilch. Zero. Whoever thought the proverbial white owl could be so utterly inconsiderate and rude!

*Sigh*! Why is there a flickering hope that you would appreciate my concerns, my plight sometime and make things easier for both of us?

Please, Mr. Owl! Give me a sign. Can we not make peace? You and I?

In anticipation,
The-much-distressed-Paroma

Earnest appeal to readers: Serious solution required. Please advice.

Of the “bye”.

I don’t know why people hang up without saying “bye”. I feel terrible when after a conversation I am left at one end of the line open mouthed and about to say the parting words and follow up with “see you soon” and the like, that I hear the “click”. And I am taken aback every time that happens. Takes me seconds to close my mouth and more often than not I say “bye” to the phone. Very sad.

For example, I often have these short quick conversations twice or thrice a day with a certain elderly person (R). Now every time he calls, the conversation ends with-

R: Yes yes, just send that cheque and make sure the zip code is written

Me: Okay. Will Do. B….

R: Click. C.L.I.C.K.

Me: ye….

….

….

Close mouth. Stare at phone. Sigh.

Also with my husband, again one R, there seems to be a “bye” problem. He never has the time. So it sounds like-

Me: Achha should I send the driver now to pick you up?

R: Now? But I have a meeting blah blah blah yawn yawn yada yada yada  hour.

Me:  Okay then.

R: B. Click.

Me: (Doesn’t even realize that the phone has been disconnected) Bye then! Will see….(and then I hear that disconnected sound- damn!)

And please note that B sounds like a “Bah” or a “Bha” and never a bye.

He has irritated me so much with this that now I make it a point to rush through my sentences so that I get to say the “Bah” or the “Bha” first. Sometimes in my rush I even hang up without completing the last words. Doesn’t matter! I get to hang up first!

And one more, just one more. This time its an uncle-

A: So what are you guys doing now? Have you had dinner?

Me: Just sitting down. And I have to heat up the fish…

A: (Cheerfully) Have dinner then! *Hangs up.

Beep Beep Beep

Me: Still open mouthed and with words at the tip of my tongue.

The problem is, people who do this do not even realize that they are rude. They have no idea how it sounds. What alarms me is that the trend is catching up. Every other person seems to be hanging up without exercising the minimum courtesy. I wonder what prompts people to do this. Thoughtlessness, showing off that they are busy, indifference? Which one?  I think it just shows that they are rude. Very rude for not being able to spare that one second to mouth a simple “bye”.

If anyone in the habit of being in a hurry to hang up is reading this post please spare a tiny second from you ever busy schedule. Think of the other person who might be getting ready to say a few nice parting words before you hang up. Say “bye”. Or how about making it a habit? Like when you pick up you say “hello” and then when you hang up you say “bye”. Yes yes, you were taught this at home and in school but unfortunately you have merrily forgotten that.

And in the meantime I’ll just try and slyly make sure my husband reads this post. And I’ll update you the minute I hear that “bye” from him!