Birthday update and thank you note

My birthday this year crept in rather quietly. For most parts on 31^st I was sleeping, then working, then figuring out a map while R was driving me to a “surprise” destination which turned out to be this small village in Rajasthan, then feeling tired and zonked out, drinking wine and then sleeping again.

 

However, that “surprise” trip did me a world of good last weekend. I did take one day to tune myself out of work. So 1^st November was much better. I had at least stopped zoning out on R and could enjoy my wine on the terrace under the stars and the moon.

 

I also want to thank every single person who called me, emailed me, texted me and wished me on Facebook and Orkut. Please excuse me if I have missed out replying to any of your messages. All your messages have been read and they really mean a lot to me. Thank you.

 

***

Three people I want to thank specifically.

 

Thank you Dadabhai for calling me precisely at 12 all the way from Boston. Only one other friend (Chetan) called at 12 but surprisingly yours was the only one that woke me up. I must have ranted in my sleep, but it was one of the best calls I received on my birthday. I also know you will never read this, but I will say it here: I miss you very very much. Now more than ever.

 

Thank you Suchismita and Medha. I have never met either of you, never heard your voice, but I am glad I have you in my life.

Tag time!

I was tagged long back for this!!

ONE and only one life. Live it.

TWO of us together. R and I. in different cities, sometimes in different countries but somehow never far apart.

THREE blogs I read regularly. Suchismita’s, Medha’s and Sunayana’s. I have actually become quite close to her and her at some level.

FOUR of us cousins. Inseparable.

FIVE minutes to do to this. Fourteen days to post it.

SIX thirty. My wake up time.

SEVEN th day is the favorite day of the week. Love Saturday.

EIGHT months of moving back to India.

NINE days to my birthday!

TEN months of marriage. Feels like yesterday.

I tag Suchismita (as always), M (hoping that she hasn’t doesn’t this already) and Rono (who would probably do this and put it in his “dustbin” blog!).

On an outrageous conversation.

Conversation with a not-so-elderly relative this morning-

Relative: Hi. Long time. You never call these days. You have completely forgotten all of us. Very busy you guys are!

Me: How are you doing? (Yes, yes and yes. Bleh.)

Relative: We are all well. Achha listen. I had to ask you something very urgent.

Me: Yes. Tell me.

Relative: You know we are looking for a girl for “X” no?

Me: Hm.

Relative: There is a shommondhho* from “Y” you know. She is from your college. One batch your senior. Do you know her?

Me: No. I don’t.

Relative: Listen we have seen her bio data. And we know the family is good. But there is one problem you know.

Me: What?

Relative: Actually our friend through whom the shommondhho* has come says that the girl is a little plump. So I was wondering if you can find out how fat “Y” is.

Me: What? (WHAT THE FUCK?)

Relative: Yes, yes. You know “X” is tall and slim and a fat girl will not look nice with him.

Me: What? (ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?)

Relative: Yes, yes. Can you call a friend to find out? It is a very urgent matter you know. I must know by this evening.

Me: You need to know by this evening how fat “Y” is?

Relative: Yes.

Me: Sorry. I can’t help. Really.

Relative: But can’t you call a friend?

Me: Yes I can. But not to find out how fat a person is. Sorry.

Relative: Please try. It is very urgent.

Me: No. I am sorry.

Relative: You can call a friend a pretend that you are trying to place “Y” but can’t seem to remember how she looked. Then they would tell you how she looks. Can’t you do that?

Me: No. I cannot. And I will not.

And with that I end the call.

I am REALLY angry with her. More disgusted than angry. I am disgusted that I am even remotely related to such people. Who stop at nothing. Who have no self respect, no shame and definitely no concern for other people’s feelings. How DARE she even ask me to place such a call?

And of course, “X”, the long haired free spirited and rather nice cousin of mine has no idea that such enquiries are being made. He would probably be mad with rage if he ever hears of such a thing.

And “Y”, I hope for your own good that you are spared of having such a terrible mother in law. Who is prejudiced without even seeing you once, without even getting to know you. I am sure you deserve much much better.

And as for me, I have never been diplomatic. Never tried. So I am not doing it this time around as well. I will not pretend to “find out” about her “fatness” in the guise of asking other innocent questions to my friend/s.

To hell with that relative. She has a heart as ugly as her toes.

*Rishta/ Marriage proposal

On a winter afternoon

I thought winter mornings are the best. Until I saw a winter afternoon. With its soft sunlight in my bedroom, curtains drawn, a soft quilt and complete silence. Except the birds in my balcony who always have something to say. And surprisingly they have more to say in the winter than in any other season of the year! But that doesn’t matter at all. For I have had a perfectly sumptuous meal of daal, bhaaja and fish curry with rice, every bone in my body is lazy and I am just curling up on my bed to watch Charulata before I doze off to sleep.

Aah. Bliss. Thy name is winter afternoon.

Edited to add later- How would you spend a perfect winter afternoon? Tell me. I would love to know.

Diwali

is over.

The Rangoli is gone, the diyas are gone, the candles are over. R burst his fair share of firecrackers, I stood at the farthest corner possible, draped in a new saree of black and gold with a few Phooljharis in my hand cringing every time a cracker burst in the vicinity (that is to say, every other second right beside me). The lights from my balcony will come down tomorrow. Life will go back to being muchly mundane. We will all go back to work, to our daily commute, the songs on the radio and no particular mad rush of getting back home.

The Diwali ended well. With a traditional Bengali dinner complete with finger licking mutton curry, tomato chutney and narkel naru.

The Diwali brought with it a nice crisp breeze, a slight chill in the air, the mellow warmth of the sun and walks any time of the day. Yet now when the sunlight falls squarely on my east facing balcony, a slight heartache tells me I am missing something. It brings me tears of both joy and sorrow. Of loved ones coming and loved ones leaving.

But then there is tender daybreak. A new day, every day. It brings a little bit of hope for all of us. Hope of holding on, hope of letting go. Hope of being able to smile one more time before wiping away hidden tears.

Yes. Diwali is over. All that is left behind now is the strange feeling of nostalgia, the sudden feeling of emptiness. And the lamps, waiting to be lit again next year.

On Peace and prizes being given away.

So Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace prize. Why? Because he has put in extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. The results of such efforts being Iran still pursuing a nuclear weapon, the war worsening in America and China rising ominously in influence. And of course, the refusal to meet the Dalai Lama even though the atrocities in Tibet are intensifying by the day.

But now there will be much thinking done and I will not be surprised if I suddenly see a meeting scheduled with His Holiness and the President himself. After all, the President is now a Nobel winner. And maybe now he will realize that His Holiness himself has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace and that he is a rather accomplished world leader.

Do I blame Obama for this? No. I would like to think that he is too much of a gentleman to have begged for this. But I think it is definitely too early to bestow such an honorable award on a President, who is a great orator but has not even completed one year in the Presidential office and has not really “done” anything as yet. He has barely gotten started on trying to clean up an ounce of the mess the last revered leader of USA left the world in.

Do I think Obama should politely turn the prize down? Ideally, yes. But then there is a very fine balance of power that requires to be maintained in the world right now.

Am I taking Obama’s side? No. I do find his speeches very inspiring but I am not his worshipper. I absolutely do not support his not meeting the Dalai Lama and his reluctant attitude towards Tibet. But I would say this. Having watched American politics and the role of the same in the world, I am trying to look at the broader picture of the existing power relations. And Obama would be subjected to ruthless condemnation for each one of his policies back in the United States. And I honestly believe that he would not have wanted to subject himself and his agenda to such harsh criticism by the Republicans.

So, yes. Much talking will happen on what he should have done and what he could have avoided. I think I have exciting columns to look forward to in the New York Times.

P.S. And since the prizes are being distributed generously, I would like one too. I can do much work towards world peace with all that cash. Oh. And feel very fancy and important to have my name on that list.

There really was NO need to make a mockery out of the Nobel Peace prize. Agreed?

On October so far.

It’s a very lonely Friday afternoon.

I am at work. I am staring at a blank document with a blank mind. All I can hear are the sounds of the relentless typing on the keyboard, my colleagues speaking in low voices, phones ringing and the fans rotating furiously as if trying to defeat the cool air of the air conditioners. I have papers on my desk, a blue pen without a cap, a half eaten bar of chocolate and the cold bottle of water. I lean back on my red chair and wonder what makes me so melancholic today.

Maybe it is because autumn has finally arrived in Delhi. That the sun has mellowed down and breeze is more soothing. That the trees are looking livelier and basking in their gorgeousness one last time before winter comes. Or maybe because I miss the fall in New York City. Where nature turns a shade of fierce orange and red and the chill in the air brings in endless mugs of hot coffee. Where people sit out longer and have dinner to savor the last few days of fall weather. Or maybe because I miss October in Calcutta. I miss the feeling of Durga Puja being over, the familiar feeling of approaching Kali Pujo and Bhaiphnota, the trips to Vivekananda Park for fuchkas. October used to bring the sunlight in my small balcony back home where Ma used to put the blankets out for sunning one last time before winter arrived.

Or maybe I am missing some romance. I am missing holding hands with R and walking around in the park and having dinner at an open air restaurant.

Whatever it is, it is a subtle and joyful but melancholic feeling. I miss the vibrant colors of New York City, I miss the soulfulness of Calcutta, but here in my comfortable New Delhi apartment, I can sit quietly in the balcony and stare at the vast October sky.

It’s a gorgeous month, October is. Isn’t it?

PS- If you want to read a better post on a happy October, do visit this blog. This is one of my favorite posts ever!

Edited to add later- I read Suchismita’s post after writing this and then I was wondering whether I should post something so similar. On second thoughts, I did.

On harmony

“The hidden harmony is better than the obvious one“- Alexander Pope

I was asked how I have such a peaceful marriage/ relationship with R who is everything that I am not.

This is my answer. This is what makes a marriage work just fine. This is what makes it fun.

Get my point?

PS. My second Wordless Wednesday comes on a Sunday night.

Edited to add later- And since Sherin (the kind soul that she is) asked me to, I am putting these over here.

And…

Shubho Bijoya to all of you.

May you all have a peaceful year and a lovely Diwali ahead.

Dear Readers,

At the outset, my apologies. I have not been writing and I am sorry about that. My blog has many regular readers and for that I am grateful. Such long absence without any explanation is unfair. And thank you, for checking on my blog. It feels good not to be deserted in trying times.

After much thinking as to how I should go about writing this post, I decided to design a tag for myself. This tag, I have concluded, would allow me to organize my thoughts into neat little paragraphs in a question answer fashion which would also make it reader friendly. Because, there is quite a bit I want to write.

So here goes-

Where have you been?

Here. Right here. Shuttling between Delhi and Gurgaon. I haven’t taken any break, haven’t gone on a vacation. And this is really not a “come back” post because I never really “went away”.

Have you missed the blog?

Terribly. I have thought about writing every single day every hour of every day.

If you were not blogging what were you upto?

I have recently switched jobs. The travel time is a killer, work is stressful and deadlines now rule my life. But I love it, I love every moment of it. This is what I have been wanting to do for so long. And it is so worth the wait, the insane daily commute and the over bearing deadlines!

Did you forget it was Pujo in between? No nostalgia this time?

I did not forget it was Pujo. Definitely, definitely did not. I whined in plenty about not being in Calcutta, about missing my friends, about missing pandal addas, about not being able to see my city decked up and happy.

But, but. My mother arrived as Saptami evening as did R. And with them around my first Pujo in Gurgaon went much better that I had expected it to be. We did the Shondhi Pujo anjali, the Nabami anjali and went pandal hopping on Ashtami night. We also gorged on biriyani, fish fry, fish and mutton chops. I wore my crisp new sarees and felt a tiny part of the Pujo madness that takes over Calcutta this time of the year.

This was my sixth Pujo away from you. For the last five years I hadn’t heard the dhaak and I hadn’t offered anjali. This year my yearning soul found solace. I heard the dhaak on Ashtami night during Shandhi Pujo. As I offered  pushpanjali that night and on Nabami morning, I stood in the familiar smell of incense sticks, amidst the organized chaos, passed around the baskets of flowers, accepted shantir jol and prosaad and murmured the Sanskrit slokas with everyone around. I cried out of sheer joy and happiness.

Alright. Then?

Then. Nothing much happened. Ma is here for a while and I have given up on getting any chinta of any sort. I have left everything to her. I still do some regular things but just her presence makes everything so much easier!

R is away. In another country. He will be back on Sunday but will be leaving right the next day for another city. But that’s alright. I have sent him a list of things I want and as long as he is getting those for me, he will be spared.

Is anything bothering you?

Yes. A couple of things.

Issue 1-

This morning I notice on the first page of TOI that Karan Johar has had to apologise to Raj Thackrey for referring to “Mumbai” as “Bombay” in his new movie Wake up Sid. Apparently the sentiments of Marathi people (Marathi manoos, as they are referred to now) have been gravely hurt.

Gravely hurt, my foot.

I have been in Maharashtra for five years of my life. I have called Pune my second home. I yearn to go back to that city and get a little bit of my college life back. I have also spent a lot of time in Bombay. And I love that city for everything it is and everything it is not. Maharashtra is as dear to me as it is to anyone else in this country.

But no. Raj Thackrey in a national interview the other day proclaimed that it is fine for people from other states to “visit” Maharashtra but why should they stay on in HIS Maharashtra. Also note that he was giving the interview on national television (CNN IBN, with Rajdeep Sardesai) in Marathi. It is fine if you want to give an interview in Marathi if you have difficulty with other languages. But, Raj Thackrey, the revered one, said that even though Hindi IS the national language (and Sardesai was speaking in Hindi and he is a Maharshtrian) it is not HIS language and he would communicate only in Marathi because it is HIS language. And other people of the nation (his own nation which I think he forgot) should make an attempt to understand what he is saying. He did not hesitate in using English though, in the interview.

Tell me, how does it matter? When terror struck Bombay (and yes, I love saying Bombay as opposed to Mumbai) every single Indian all over the world stood united. Every single person prayed, everyone stayed glued to the television and I’ll be damned if anyone said “Oh! That’s a problem with Maharashtra”.

Just when you think, that emancipation is coming, the all emancipated Raj Thackrey takes a one eighty degree turn and takes you back to the time when kings and emperors were  busy aggressively defending their kingdoms.

Issue 2-

The other day I read an interview of Chitrangada Singh in the front page of Delhi Times, wherein she said that she just does not understand how her good friend Shiney Ahuja and other people who have not been convicted of a crime are being kept in jail when they have not been proven to be guilty of their crimes.

I am hoping that Chitrangada Singh, who did Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi, is more intelligent than that.

Going by her logic, Kasab (I don’t need to explain who he is) should also be freed. Nothing has been proved against him. He is an accused. That’s all.

Sigh! I am going to pass this as a blonde moment of Chitrangada Singh. I am sure she will do better.

Issue 3-

The Delhi heat is killing me. It is the end of September and the sun still rages in sky with no hint of mellowing down. So dear Lord, I am ready for the winters now. I want to sip a cup of hot chocolate with pakoras and wrap myself up in a quilt from head to toe and watch a good movie.

So you haven’t written at all?

I did manage to write a story for Sa at the last moment. I missed the deadline but they have been very generous for publishing it. You can read it here.

I also have some reports of some seminars and conferences, which I am sure none of you are interested in. May God bless your souls.

Now what?

Right now, I am in the car feeling feverish and going back home from work. On reaching home, I will throw my bag on the sofa and collapse  right next to it. Mom is going to get me some tea and biscuits. She will then do lakshmi pujo at home. After which we will eat luchi, alu fulkopi and begun bhaja. Thereafter I shall take the hot water bag, stuff it under my lower back and catch up on some much needed sleep. That’s all.

One last question. Would you be disappearing often like this?

I don’t want to. And now that I have learnt to utilize my travel time effectively for reading and writing, I am hoping that there won’t be such a long absence again.

Anything else you want to say?

Yes. It feels good to be back. Thank you all for reading and asking me to write soon. It worked!

I think this tag has very efficiently summarized my activities over the last few weeks.

Having said that, I would like to tag M to do this since she hasn’t been writing and I have not been nagging enough. So M, take this as an official nag and get this done. It’s not too difficult.

Also, anyone who has been absent from the blogosphere for too long and is having difficulty in putting down everything, please feel free to take this up and change it as per your requirements.